So, how do I feel about this extension of my strange mutterings to the wider world? To be frank, I was neither flattered, nor thrilled when the idea was mooted. And, when I first saw my blog on the website, I felt vulnerable. I worried about the impression it would give. I imagined you all muttering into your teas things like: “Who does he think he is – really?” “Talk about ego – he thinks he’s Peter Honey now” (or some such authority). I was even less impressed when I saw that photographs had been added, “to break the page up a bit”.
My reaction is interesting isn’t it? And probably a little bit English too: This concern about ‘overstepping the mark’, this feeling of vulnerability, and dislike of being too much in the limelight. They’re feelings that many of us experience: The first time we’re asked to give a presentation to a group of managers perhaps, or the first time we walk into a room of people as their manager.
And, I’m reminded of a piece of advice a member of my team was given when she expressed many of the same fears after she became team supervisor. The advice she was given (not by me) was to dress one level higher than her role. It’s advice that seems a bit reminiscent of the 1980s - the days of Dynasty and Dallas; when shoulder pads were so large you wondered how women were able to navigate through doorways. But for this individual it worked. Dressing up a bit gave her greater confidence, made her feel more ‘in the role’ and more fitted to it.
And it reminds me too of growing up in a village pub. From a young age, I helped out behind the bar, washing glasses and such, and at the age of 18 I began a lengthy, albeit part- time, career serving beers. The weird thing was that behind the bar I was extrovert, confident and in control. When it came to socialising on the other side however, I reverted to a shy, nervous boy.
Maybe, there is something to be said for role-play after all; maybe role-play is something we do until the role becomes comfortable. In which case I’ll continue playing at being a professional writer, and imagine I’m a sort of cross between Stephen Fry and Robert Peston, and just hope you’ll humour me during my journey of discovery and development.
Rod Webb
www.glasstap.com
